Maybe it will look stupid, but I had the urge of telling this, even though no one will care.
You know that feeling like you’re trapped in a life and can’t get out?! Well, that’s how I feel most of the time. When I left for the first time in another country I felt free and happy. Last year when I went to Spain,for a week, it was the most liberating period of my life until then. Walking on the beach, visiting the beautiful city of Madrid and the little village of San Pedro del Pinatar, was the best feeling ever. That was like a “reward” for graduating high-school…. like you need a reward because you finish school..
I came back and I became sad, I became focused to accomplish my dreams. But I couldn’t be happy here, where I was born. I got admitted at University and had so big aspirations. I was so proud to call myself a student. Boy was I wrong! I thought that once being a student, I would have that glam life of a student. Again…wrong! Student life here is horrible! It’s not like in the movies (I was so naive for thinking that I could have that). Once I started classes, well my world fell apart. It was nothing like I expected to be. At the beginning I was so excited, eager to learn, you know, have that student life, how it is in another countries (The Netherlands for example).
But, as soon as I realized how it actually is here, I thought, well I made this mistake, let’s work to change that. So, I became obsessed with learning and taking all exams to go abroad on an internship. (Even some of you will not believe me, it is hard to write all of this thinking that I share something so private on the Internet and then click “Publish”).
I worked my butt off so that the company will accept me for that internship. A close person helped me with the company and the paper work there, and I will always thank it for! The 1st University year ended and I have taken all the exams, no failures. I even got a scholarship. But I still felt unhappy… So the time came to go to the internship, in another country. I have shared so many quotes about getting out of your comfort zone and now here I am, ready to go live in another country for the whole summer.
And I would do it all over again!
I arrived there and as soon as I stepped foot on that country I said that’s it! Here I feel happy. I was looking at people’s faces and thinking that I have to move here, everyone was so nice, everyone was smiling. I noticed the small things, because here I don’t have them and neither do I see them! I started the internship and I wasn’t wrong. All the people at the company were so nice, I learned so much about…. everything, in 3 months. More than I learned my whole life in my home country.
(I loved EVERY second spent there.)
One day I looked back at my life and thinking “wow, A LOT can change in ONE year!” A year ago I didn’t think it was possible and now here I am living on my own, paying bills, just for 3 months. I learned that it is possible, it is possible to be happy in a country you don’t know, but the people made me interested in that country and made me like it so much.
My internship finished and I was devastated. Yes that’s the word! I was so sad that I was leaving, I even started crying. Fast forward a few months, here I am wishing to be back there, where I felt happy and smiling and… ME!
I will work much harder to accomplish what I want and go back there, where I am happy! Will se where it takes me.
I started this blog to have my own corner where I can write everything I want and talk to some of you, who maybe are in the same situation as I am. I still don’t know if I should press “Publish”…
Soo.. yeah, maybe I should stop here. I just wanted to… I don’t know what I wanted. It’s like a letter that you write, but never send! If you read my whole “manuscript” and are here at the bottom, thank you. I truly mean it! And if that happened to you let’s talk in the comment section below. I want to talk with you and hear your story!
UPDATE: 2 weeks have passed since I wrote this and didn’t click Publish. But now I’m doing this!